"What's taking you so long?" "You need to get rid of that thing!" These are just two of the many common phrases I get from male friends. In my experience, some men tend to treat women's virginity as a late assignment. Virginity has also been redefined in ways to exclude all its unique qualities. According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, a virgin is a person who has not had sexual intercourse, one who is pure, chaste, and free of stain. Definitions may include "preservation of the hymen," and "free from all sexual experiences," or my personal definition, "abstaining from receiving or performing any and all sex." There are many definitions and aspects of virginity, though none are considered right or wrong.
To elaborate more on my personal definition, those who take part in any sexual intercourse are no longer virgins. Hence, those who have broken hymens due to some gymnastics accident (or any non sex-related activities) would be excluded. Those who participate in self-induced exposure to sexual activity (such as masturbation, viewing of sexual magazines or videos, etceteras) would be considered virgins, but these acts serve as gate openers to the world of sex and will soon increase curiosity and drive.
Also, virgins who have partners that are sexually oriented may experience an even greater temptation. However, "it takes two to tango," which means it is the responsibility of the virgin to either stay strong, or remove oneself from the situation. If confident, a virgin can resist temptation and achieve abstinence (except in some devastating cases where abuse is used).
On a more serious note, I believe my virginity is a very worthy possession. Most people know I am a virgin just because I conduct myself in a very modest fashion. Therefore, excuse me if I get a little upset when I am categorized with others who carry themselves in a whorish manner, but because they have managed to abstain from penetration, we fall in the same sex status. Some may say within virginity are different levels, so technically, I would not be in the same category as these virgins, but instead on a higher level of virginity. I have to disagree with this statement.
Growing up, I was always taught that I should not have premarital sex and that if I did, it was an abomination unto God. So, for these reasons alone, I abstained from sex. However, as I got older, I decided to keep my virginity for more reasons than one. My reasoning has nothing to do with fear of STDs or pregnancy. I simply believe that no one is worth taking my virginity, except the one I am destined to spend the rest of my life with, my husband. I do not expect my husband to be a virgin, nor do I believe I am better than those who have premarital sex. However, my virginity is something that I take great pride in and an issue that I take seriously.
So, what is the definition of virginity? It is something that varies amongst everyone. Its severity is defined by what people feel in their heart. For some, it may be an issue taken lightly, and for others, something seriously. But, no matter what the case may be, it should never be violated or criticized. Most importantly, it should never be disrespected.
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